Our second Christmas without our precious Danielle... Oh how we miss her! As I reflect on previous Christmases, I have a memory of a time when Danielle was 4 (the age of this picture). Danielle loved manger scenes and there was one in particular where baby Jesus looked so real. I remember her staring intently at the face, and then leaning over to gently touch the face of baby Jesus. Danielle is no longer looking at a manger scene made by humans; she’s with Jesus and can lean over and touch His face.
Christmas in Heaven. I simply can't imagine the beauty Danielle is experiencing!!
I know there are many who will be saying, "Merry Christmas" to others, but inside they may be hurting and need encouragement at this time of year. The essential message of Christmas is Immanuel—God is with you. God will help you. God will strengthen you. I pray that you will feel God’s presence and love during season. Have a blessed Christmas, Melody
Christmas in Heaven I see the countless Christmas Trees around the world below, with tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow. The sight is so spectacular; please wipe away that tear, for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear; but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here. I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, for it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing. I know how much you miss me, there’s pain within your heart, but I am not so far away...we really aren't apart. So be happy for me dear ones. You know I hold you dear; and be glad I'm spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year. I send you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. I send you each a memory, of my undying love. After all "Love" is the gift more precious than pure gold. It was always most important in the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do; for I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you. So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear. Remember, I'm spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year. ~By Wanda Bencke~
May 17, 2008, one year ago, was the most painful, difficult day I have ever experienced. My heart was broken and I remember feeling like I just wanted to die. I didn’t think I could deal with the loss of our precious Danielle. I’m going to share some thoughts I’ve had about that tragic evening...thoughts that have comforted me.
Thoughts of heaven: God's Word says heaven will be unbelievable, so can you imagine Danielle's look of amazement and excitement when she got her first glimpse of heaven!
Do you remember the move Apollo 13 about the mission to the moon, and the fight against all odds to bring them home safely? I loved the ending. People all over the world were glued to the TV set wondering if the heat shield would hold up and they would make it safely home. Suddenly the capsule appears and the parachutes open. The words from home were “Odyssey, Houston, welcome home...we’re glad to see you.” Cheers from all over the world for their safe arrival. It’s an analogy of Danielle’s journey through life, through danger, through the horrible accident, and finally her homecoming where she was welcomed by cheers and applause.
I found a card that Danielle had written to me a few years ago, and I’d like to share two sentences. Thanks mom for praying. Someday I’ll be in heaven and I won’t have to deal with this stuff anymore. Danielle had no idea she’d be going home this early, but she’s right...she no longer is dealing with that “stuff” anymore. (No more pain, sorrows or tears)
Personal note to Danielle’s friends - I remember at Danielle’s funeral...at one point I looked around and saw hundreds of teens/young adults and I was overcome with the strongest feeling that I wanted to reach every single person there. I wanted all of you to see Danielle again...in eternity! Today could be your last day. James 4:14 says, “You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” If you aren’t sure where you will spend eternal life, please go to http://www.ccci.org/wij/. Danielle wants to welcome all of you home some day!
May 17, 2010 is the two-year anniversary of Danielle’s departure to heaven. I went back to read my journal that I started the day after the accident. Although I shed lots of tears, recalling different events; I also was amazed at the countless times where God intervened just at the right time. I’ll share a couple of these times.
Shortly after hearing the officer tell me the horrific news, I found myself lying on the floor in a dark bedroom, feeling like I just wanted to die, calling out to God to please help me. God sent me a gift: a picture. A picture of Danielle being embraced by Jesus. God was telling me, Melody, your precious daughter is safely home. I can’t tell you how many times I have been comforted by remembering that picture.
Well the next few days were filled with emotional decisions. I remember Rob saying we need to pick out an outfit for Danielle. As I sat there in tears I thought of the many, many times I picked out an outfit for Danielle. Which cute, frilly dress should she wear for her first birthday, her first day of kindergarten…? Even more recently - helping to pick out her homecoming dress and prom dress. I remember feeling overwhelmed with emotions looking at outfits in her closet trying to select one for the casket. I went downstairs and someone had just emailed me a note of encouragement with verses from Psalm 30. I read the entire passage, which is about crying out to the Lord for help. Verse 11 caught my attention at that moment. “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.” I felt a sense of hope reflecting on this promise. Yes, I was feeling intense pain thinking about selecting physical clothing...yet God promises to clothe me with JOY.
I shared on the home page about the cards we found that Danielle had written to friends, but had not gotten them mailed out or put in Bethel mail boxes. In my journal, I wrote about having a conversation with Jesus about how the grief and anguish were unbearable, and I couldn’t make any sense out of this tragedy. I continued in my journal that I know that God promises us in Romans 8:28 that God will make good out of ALL situations; but how and when? A few hours later we found the cards. As I was tearfully reading the cards, I felt God saying, Melody, this is part of your answer to your Romans 8:28 question. Go use these cards to reach others! The cards have been the motivation behind the creation of this website.
A few weeks after the accident we were considering the decision whether to donate her car to MADD. That was an incredibly emotional decision…and I fought God on that one. As I was praying about it…God gave me this verse - Genesis 50:20, as Joseph replied to his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” The verse reminded me that yes, satan did intend the tragedy for harm, but God WILL use it to accomplish the saving of many lives (physically, but much more important, eternally). Over 7000 visits to Danielle’s website – and I'm assuming that the majority are due to students and others seeing the car (or hearing the “Choices have Consequences” talk in schools). I’ve received so many emails from people who have contacted me through the website after seeing the car, reflecting on how this has influenced their life choices as well as impacting them eternally. Psalm 27:13 rings true for me, “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.” God is showing how good He is and how he is using Danielle’s departure to her Heavenly home to impact lives.
Danielle’s accident was a shock to us, but not to Jesus. “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (Ps. 139:16). I can’t wait to find out what was going on behind the scenes in heaven that week, knowing that Danielle was coming home. I don’t think it was a coincidence many of the things that occurred, including writing the cards. Can’t you just see the Holy Spirit prompting Danielle to actually slow down, sit down, and get those cards written…and then not allow her to get them sent…because He had a purpose for the cards.
Throughout my journal are thoughts on heaven, including many insights from an excellent book "Heaven" written by Randy Alcorn. I still pray every day that God would continue to give our family an eternal perspective because that is the source of comfort as we go through life’s valleys.
Well, my journal is over 100 pages…so I won’t continue with my God stories. But I would like to close with a poem that was read at a funeral of a dear friend a week ago.
Gone From My Sight I am standing upon a seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" "Gone where?" Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout "HERE SHE COMES!" And that is dying - Henry Van Dyke
For a Christian, death is not the end. Danielle merely moved from one place to another - from earth to heaven. And as we tearfully said good bye, Jesus and others from heaven welcomed Danielle home with a party we can only imagine.
So…the most important question is “Are you ready for the moment when you will take your final breath on this earth?”
